Sunday, December 6, 2009

I'm new here, don't have any friends or social network, extremely shy, what can I do?

I've moved here from out of state bout 2 years ago. don't have family here except for my mom, and she's not the most popular person in the world either. everywhere I go ppl make fun of me, i'm trying to get back into college, but i don't wanna go without friends. sure college is where you go to get a social life, but if I go now (i'm 28) everyone will think i'm a loser. i've tried joining clubs, going to bars, being friendly (not outgoing) to guys at work, but somehow I just don't fit in. i joined a judo club, tried to find a bird watchers club (i know its dorky but you can't say JUST BE YOURSELF), finding others with similar interests. I was the shyest person in the world in jr high, and i've never been to a dance. hardly ever been to a party, and when i did, i just sat there. i thought moving here would be the best thing i ever did, i could start off fresh, but its so cliquish here, no one wants to let me join their clicque, because i'm not already in one. who else has gone this?



I'm new here, don't have any friends or social network, extremely shy, what can I do?myspace commentes





Uh, OKAY...Thats..WAIT, bird watching WTF?



You smoke ROX, huh? Don't lie..really?



Meeting people is like banging the next girl EASY..123 and WALLAHHHHHH....



I'm new here, don't have any friends or social network, extremely shy, what can I do?myspace images myspace.com



add me to your friend list! I will be your friend !



do you have any myspace , if you do then add me



myspace.com/txxxm
date on line- you can be who ever you want!
OK sweetie get your butt back in school find what makes your heart sing and find a way to make it a career. When you are happy people will just gravitate to you. I know it all sounds so simple but it is. Get out there and have fun
hi im not sure of what u shuld do



srry!
start doing Le parkour. free-running is extreme. Make a crew or something.
it's kind of hard to say or explain but just put your self out there and do what you love to do and don't worry bout what others think
hey you can talk to me, just in case you need someone to talk to i've been there i know what you're goin through
go to mall and try to make friends or start conversation
try to be outgoing...and go to a gym or church...usually good ppl are at them places!!! i wish you the best of luck!!!
you are 28 years old and by now you should have learned that no matter what people say or think about you they dont pay your bills. so if you are 50 and want to go to college, then dont feel embarrassed.....go and get that money. I dont have friends either but i would rather be happy and alone then have friends who will let you down and talk behind your back.....so do what you have to do to maintain to live. you dont need friends.........family sometimes
Add me to your friends list, we can chat and you will feel more comfortable in no time at all. One step at a time... making a new life is like eating an elephant, best way to start is one bite at a time.
Hey i'll be ur friend. Just add me. I also have a myspace http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fus...
It doesn't matter one bit what other people think. What God thinks is what matters. Go to college, you can make a clean start. Make knew friends, and if they talk bout you bad, let them talk, or give them something to talk about, cuz theyre not gonna stop. Best of luck
First .. It's never to late to get ur Education on .. U will never be a loser just b/c ur 28 and going back to school .. So what .. make the best of it and start making ur big bucks.



Second .. Just be urself.. Join clubs that interest U .. not the taste of someone else .. just because U want to " fit in " ... Eventually U will find people and friends with similar interest as U. Just relax and let ur self confidence and structure shape ur environment. Do the things U like .. Trust me .. U will find friends..



Third .. I'll be ur friend as well .. On myspace find me by email ... or just email me at .. J_Lopez025@yahoo.com ( copy and paste as U see )
First of all, you go to college to get an education, not socialize.



I think you're taking the right steps about it though. You should definitly go to college. At college you should find some friends. Also I think you're on the right track by joining those clubs. Just give it some time and remember to be social, but not needy.



If you really want real friends, I don't recommend clubs and bars!



Just give it time man.
With all pleasure...I am your friend



From now and on



But for your information..College is for studying and nt for doing relationships ..Plus it is not a huge problem not to have friends



By the way..I am against you i can be my self and i love it to be so



In addition..My internet friends are wonderful and appreciate them more than those with me in college?!!!!!!



By the way..I am not in Judo...But Karate and



tikondo



Further....Playing harp and piano...



By the way ..I have the same problem...



But for me ..I can drop them all



I am not doing anything wrong..then



Who needs me as a friend...Ok



And Who Don't need me as a friend...Doesn't affect me



Simply..Cause i am scientific and realistic



That doesn't mean that i am without emotions...But why should i deal emotionally..although..I am treated badly



Who needs me..I will aid him/her



With all kindness



Again..Accept you as a friend



I will add you to my contacts...



I am also with omar..(the member above me)in that



"If you really want real friends, I don't recommend clubs and bars!"..Excellent point?!!!



SALUT
First off, get used to this country, ok? because its FULL of clicks (different kinds of groups that hang out together ALL THE TIME) You just have to keep trying dude. I say, go to collage, focus on your studies, and along the way TRY to say hi to some people. Trust me, are they really going to push you around for saying hi? Just be friendly and no one can hurt you. Also, try doing something "cool" Put yourself in a higher state of social status, something that will allow you to be noticable, and fun. You will meet girls in collage, and hopefully get going with your life. Oh and try not to be so shy. BE OUTGOING
Some people are just social outcasts by default and its hard to change that, where did you move to? I think if you really want to make good friends you have to live somewhere where people have the same personality as you, not so much interests. Im 22 and I also share your frustration but know its because my interests and personality dont fit into the society I currently live in, different cities have different kinds of people. I live in Los Angeles where everybody is very materialistic, stuck up, fake, immature, stupid and the list goes on. I know EXACTLY where you are coming from, I have had similar problems growing up and still do. Dont be yourself, try and mold yourself into what is expected from the society you live in, that is the key to making friends, or just move.
College is the place to be for you right now. I go to a community school, and I'm 23. Since it is a community school, I have a lot of people in my classes that are above the ages of 25, and although they don't hang out like the rest of the "kids" my age, they focus on their work and eventually meet other people in the the same age group from class. The whole idea behind getting to know people is to not force the whole "I don't have anyone, will you hang out with me?" attitude. In a classroom setting you are almost dropped into a group of people who all have a common ground, and that is the class itself. If you are still very shy, it could be easier for you to make simple conversation first, like "how did you do on the test?" or "are you a big fan of this professor?" and such. This may or may not, lead you to a different social network. Just don't be pushy, but don't be to afraid to speak up. Sounds to me like you lack confidence. College will help you define who you are academically, and put you in a position that you will have to socialize with others- therefore boosting your confidence for the future. Good luck!!!!
My husband was super shy too. Be careful you don't turn to self-medicating (alcohol, etc)



I've noticed a great deal of camaraderie in the following areas, especially in community colleges:



Theatre and drama (acting or set design)



School newspaper



School yearbook



****



Join a running club or a hiking club.



Volunteer for different functions and different organizations -- fundraisers, plays, food fests, etc.



Check http://craigslist.org for groups in your area



Take dance lessons (salsa, ballroom dancing, etc.) -- women LOVE guys who can dance. It's okay if you can't dance now, they'll teach you and you'll meet people while doing it. It will also build up your confidence.



If what you say is true, that everywhere you go ppl make fun of you, you might also consider seeking the guidance of a therapist. He (or she) will very likely be able to give you additional ideas.
Type NAVIGATORS in your search engine it is a Christian organization that is United States wide. They usally have groups around colleges and I will grantee you'll make friends their.
Outside of my boyfriend, I have one friend. I once had lots of friends and they all betrayed me. Friends are not all of what they are cracked up to be. Be happy with who you are and like a previous person on here said, if you are happy, then people will naturally gravitate towards you. Love yourself and don't be so withdrawn from people. When you enter college, make small talk with some of your classmates. Ask them how they are doing or try to involve yourself in a study group with someone. That is one way you can get yourself out there and converse with others. There is nothing wrong with speaking to people and being courteous. Just open up a little and you will surely find some people you can relate to. Just don't get so caught up on making friends because friends can be the main people that bring you down if you are not careful. Be sure to surround yourself with good people who have great personalities.
Alright my friend,let's begin with being in a 'new' place.Being that I also moved to a new town(6 mos.) I can see how you'd have difficulty expanding your social circle,just like you,some are shy/self-concious and what seems rejection may only be shyness.There are folks that don't care to be receptive.So after a few months of not making contact with neighbors and no job,(disabled USMC) I decided to find a way to volunteer at our local literacy center,completed a few training sessions and began to tutor adults with their reading.The point I'm attempting to make is that there are plenty of organizations in your town that could use your help.I have only just started but already I've met some decent people.Some being some pretty and single.If you think you couldn't do that sort of thing,you'd be surprised to discover you can.There is an old saying,but it is pertinent. "To have a friend,you must be a friend". Don't let the present wear you down,you can change it.I wish you well.
Take a class, not for credit just for fun. There is a reason people hook up all the time while in high school and college. Because there is a comfertable structure to the social interaction. Taking a class will give you the chance to be some place where most of the people will not know each other.



Plus in a class setting you can easily break the ice. "Oh how do you like the class? How do you like the professor? What made you want to take [what ever]?"



Another great thing is always volunteer work. Some times you get that clique thing going too, but generally no. Having worked for the world's most famous non-profit I can assure you people try to make new volunteers feel welcomed (because we don't want them to quit).



Good luck.
hi im not sure of what u shuld do



srry!

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